Wednesday, August 5, 2015
Wednesday, July 8, 2015
Most mornings I have the kids do a devotional. This looks different for each kid, and looks different daily, but the point is that they are learning how to connect with God on their own. Or maybe the point is that I get almost twenty whole minutes to read, myself. :)
Yesterday, one of my children read the story about Jesus healing a leper. He told the guy not to tell anyone, but he did, anyways. And board of people flocked to Jesus to follow Him.
Then my two standard questions, what does that mean? And what does that mean to you? (The first being content based the second more about application.)
So this guy was told not to tell. One thing. And he's walking around town seeing people, strangers maybe, and what does he do? He tells them! We decided that this guy was just too excited about what Jesus had done for him that he couldn't contain himself. It was flowing from his lips all the time.
And what did the people he spoke with do? Did they look at him like a crazy person? Did they tell at him or tell him to shut up? No and no. They went to see Jesus for themselves.
What if I was excited about Jesus?
What if the work that Jesus has done in my life couldn't be contained?
What if I couldn't help but speak of Him?
What if others went to see Jesus for themselves?
Much of what our current culture knows about Christians has to do with what we stand for, or more more accurately what we stand against. But what if. What if my words spoke more about the Jesus who has saved and redeemed me? What if I shared the stories of healing and grace? What if instead of telling others why they should become Christians, I simply shared why I am one?
What if people did the same thing that they did back then? What if they sought Jesus out for themselves? It's sort of an upside down evangelism. One where Jesus get credit and honor...and I get none.
I kind of have a feeling that's the way it's supposed to be.
Wednesday, June 3, 2015
|Grandma Dora with son #4 and son #3|
|Double Dora! 2010|
I know where she is now. She's talking with the Lord about us.
Tuesday, January 20, 2015
And I sat on the floor and cried.
That made the guilt for what was to come that much worse.
You see, we had a baby. Barely six months old. My husband had lost his job the week before he was born. I probably had post-partum depression, too. I was not ready for another baby. Especially since my current baby would only be thirteen months old when this one arrived. I'm not sure what made me take the test, but there it was sitting on the counter. And I was overwhelmed.
We spent the week thinking and praying. Honestly...coming to terms with the next change in our life. And that's when the spotting started. I did what I was supposed to do. I called my doctor. I laid down. I rested.
But all it took was one trip to the bathroom.
And I sat on the floor and cried.
The rest of the week is a blur of pain, tears, trips to the hospital and clinic and rationalizing. Trying to understand why God would give us a baby, only to take it away again.
It didn't take long to get pregnant again, and again, and again, and again. We ended up with five kids. And not a lot of time to think about the one we lost. I'm not even sure how many people we've talked to about that baby. But last week I did. I shared my story with some other moms. I did think about that baby. The one that I never got to hold. And I let the pain of it touch me, for the first time since it happened.
And I have a song for that.
God created. He had no intentions for anyone to die. That's why it hurts us so much when someone does. Why it just about kills us when it's a child, even one yet unborn. It's ok to feel it.
Friday, September 12, 2014
"If you could go back and give a younger you just a few words of advice, what would it be?"
There's a song about that. (Dear Younger Me). And even though I've heard that song a number of times, and I read his post yesterday, and it jumped to the top of my newsfeed again today...I didn't really have an answer. Just more questions. How much of a younger me? Me at six years old? Me at fifteen years old? Me at twenty-five years old?
So anyways, I really wanted to have an answer to what advice I would give a younger me, but I didn't really have anything.
There's a song I've heard on the radio a few times, and I've wanted to try to find it and share it. So, I spent some time this morning listening to music. I love doing that! And I found this song. Listen to this song.
Friday, June 27, 2014
We went from this...squalling child who smelled perpetually like sour milk...
To this...a grinning eleven year old who smells perpetually like stinky boy...
He's still a goofy, wild, childish boy who sneaks ice cream. But there are glimpses of the mature, responsible man he's becoming.
A couple of weeks ago he and I spent a week at Boy Scout Camp. It was a beautiful week. I learned a lot about knot tying and fire making...he did, too :) One activity he participated in was the Penguin Club. they met at the lake at 6 AM, and got in up to their shoulders for fifteen minutes. Doing that four out of the five days meant you earned a patch. None of the other boys went with him, so I got the pleasure of calling into his tent at 5:30, and walking him down to the lake. It wasn't too bad. We got to experience great mornings like this one. Yes, it was cold. Yes, that's the moon. But he did it. He got up at the sound of my voice, got himself ready for the day and made the plunge into the chilly lake for four straight days.
But I wasn't sure about that last day. The night before we had a late night and just when he was getting ready to head to his tent (about 10:45) they pulled out the s'mores. So back he came. I reminded him of the penguin club, told him if he wouldn't wake up when I called for him, it would not be my fault he didn't make it to his fourth day. And then I said no more. "This will be a learning experience," I thought. And I was the one who learned just who grown up and sweet my baby boy had become. He ate his s'more, I was chatting with other parents/leaders and he quietly came up beside me. "Mama, I'm going to bed now. This is for you." And he handed me one of the rectangles from his s'more. He had saved it to share with me. I got a little teary eyed.
There are days I wonder about this job we're doing as parents. Days I blow it and lose my temper, days I just don't care if they play on the ipad or watch movies all day. Days that I feel like we're doing everything wrong and screwing these kids up.
And then there are days that I believe that God is in control. That He loves them more than I do and will do anything for them. Days that I truly believe that because of Him and His love and grace they are firmly in His hand and will turn out ok. Days like the above that give me hope for the future and show me that they're already turning out just fine.
Sunday, March 16, 2014
But I read that post through a filter. One that says, "You need to refill yourself so you can keep going." and keep giving. and keep doing.
And I'm sort of done with that.
I mean, I'm not done with giving myself for others. I'm done with the focus of my life being on what I can do.
The focus seems to be on getting something done and getting filled up so that the doing can continue. Stopping is seen as a negative because nothing is accomplished when you're not moving.
I want a new filter. One that says, "Fill yourself up on your relationship with Christ, and offer to others out of the overflow."
The focus is on having a strong relationship with Jesus. Being filled simply for the sake of living from a whole heart. Having an abundant life right here and now (John 10:10). There is value in pursuing a relationship with Jesus without having any agenda or expectations attached to it.
What if, what if when I do that- when I'm filled, living from a whole heart, experiencing an abundant life- what if from that place, I can offer something of myself, something of my Lord, to other people?
I think everyone would agree, there's value in resting. In taking time to fill up. Do I want the focus of my relationship with Jesus to be what I can take from Him to get something accomplished? Or do I want the focus of my relationship with Jesus to be a beautiful, dynamic, whole-hearted love affair that is valued for what it is?
I guess the difference I'm seeing is "Fill me up, Jesus, so I can go accomplish more." versus "Fill me up, Jesus, because I love you so much."
Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a sabbath to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your male or female servant, nor your animals, nor any foreigner residing in your towns.
Observe the Sabbath, because it is holy to you.
Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.